don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
