I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
