some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize