Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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