I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You are a genius and a whore.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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