i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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