He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
