You work out of a Hotel?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
