their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
