belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
