I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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