I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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