Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We are two peas in an std pod
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
