I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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