Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
