Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
