we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
