WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
