my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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