i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
