you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
