im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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