So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
