Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's just like the Real World with babies
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
