In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
