i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
