he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
