that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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