I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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