I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
