thus making me awesome and them whores
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
