bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
