i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
