You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
