How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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