Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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