Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
