I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
