watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
