My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
