K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
As shirtless as possible
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
