I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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