I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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