I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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