Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
