It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
