I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
