as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dear god my vagina.
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