I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
