I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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