Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
