Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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